The Cheesy Nothings of Romanticism

Status: Disposable, shattered and heartbroken. Again.

Music: “Love is Only a Feeling" by The Darkness

Well, today is Valentine’s Day.

And on this 14^th of February, I have to face the soul-crushing reality that the person I happen to fall in love with on a daily basis is somewhere out there, winning over potential future-dates without a single thought of the one he left behind.

It seems that some believe in finding someone shiny and new to have fun with rather than confronting and trying to salvage what I believed to be a meaningful and relatively long relationship. It feels a bit like my heart is being beaten against a brick wall over and over again because some sick fuck out there somewhere really likes the pattern of the blood splatter.

Too many people overlook the simple everyday things about an intimate relationship, usually because those things are ruled as sentimental nonsense or trivial bullshit. Someone who gives their partner a hug when their significant other is sick or feeling like shit is often underappreciated and considered less important than the near-stranger being taken out on a dinner date. For some reason, good guys always seem to finish last whilst selfish egocentric arseholes get their way. It’s the girls who don’t loose their temper when their partner forgets their birthday that get fucked over whilst those who bitch about a lack of random gifts from their significant other seem to get pampered like B-grade celebrities with too much silicone.

Now I for one do buy spontaneous gifts for the people I care about, but I’m also smart enough to realise that it’s the thought and consideration, not just something shiny and new, which makes it special. Seeing a smile on your loved one’s face should be enough to make you want to do it all over again, but that’s not what love is based upon. A relationship shouldn’t be based mainly on trying to appease each other through material gain, exchanging heart-shaped candy, demanding dinner dates and complaining about your boyfriend spending too much time away from home having a night out with the guys.

Real relationships are never easy, but then again, nothing that actually matters ever is. It’s the effort and the dedication and the selflessness in putting another person’s needs before your own that make a couple work, not the price tag of a Christmas present.

And so I have decided to put my heartbroken romanticism to some productive use this Valentine’s Day. I’m bringing emphasis back to the cheesy nothings of romanticism. And making a point of saying: Fuck you selfish arseholes with your bastardising materialism.

I’ve reflected a little on the things that truly win me over – and am once more playing myself the love fool by digging into cheesy romance (This doesn’t mean I won’t kick your arse.). And so, here I present a list of qualities that I for one really appreciate.

Someone who:

· gives a hug goodnight before they fall sleep instead of just rolling over and napping.

· says ‘thank you’ when they receive an impromptu gift from me.

· apologises for having done something wrong or hurtful and actually confront the situation, rather than placing blame on other circumstances and other people.

· asks me to stay just a little longer once and a while when I’m about to leave instead of saying none too bluntly, “There’s a bus stop down the street.”

· appreciates that I don’t mind how much time they send with their friends or on their own, while at the same time acknowledging I may need time for myself at times as well.

· treats me as an equal and take my situations into the same account as their own rather than regarding me as an accessory.

· will occasionally give a double take as they're walking away to say another last goodbye.

· does not take for granted that I don’t nag about getting a key to the house or a drawer in the wardrobe instead of bitching how other girls will do those things.

· cares enough to take a risk to understand me better and persists to have me around, even with the potential of failure, rather than deeming me too much effort because it’s too hard.

· acknowledges me an individual worthy of their time and commitment, not just one of a potential series of options.

So this Valentine’s Day kids, think about what you want. Think about what you really want. Think about the little things that make your life that much better. Ask yourself if your heart, your mind and your devotion are all in the right place. Ask yourself if you would still uphold and treasure that commitment through bad times when you feel disposable and empty as well as the good when you’re feeling invincible.

Because, cliché as it sounds, sometimes the best things in life really are free. And if you are the kind that still insists on your boyfriend buying you that stuffed teddy-bear with the heart-shaped nose, you’ve got to ask yourself: Who wants to be a soulless materialistic whore like Paris Hilton anyway?

Selfish materialists loose their appeal after a while. Love is eternal.