Happy Fucking Birthday

Status: Annoyed.
Music: “Hey You” by Pink Floyd

Yes, here’s another immature and whiny rant.
But you know what? It’s my blog, so if you don’t like it, it’s not like you’re being forced to read this shit.
So come the end of the month, it’ll be my birthday.
And what annoys me the most about this time of year? People instructing me as to what I should be doing to commemorate the day – which not only makes me less likely to fulfil any suggestions given to me, but also from doing anything at all. The more people tell me to do things, the less motivation I have to do them.
No, I don’t want to be thrown some dinner party, I don’t want to spend the day complying with an invite from the parents who didn’t bother raising me but like the idea that they accidently gave birth to someone with a flashy degree through fornication, I don’t want to go to the beach and I don’t want to do the same-old same-old that is binge drinking.

So what would I like for my birthday?
Well, to be blunt, I would like everything I’ve ever wanted – I would like to belong to a nice family that everyone else seems to take for granted, where the biggest dispute is over whose turn it is to do the laundry or take out the garbage. I would like to live in a nice, quiet suburbia just outside of town with a decent public transport service and a friendly enough neighbourhood where no one slashes your tyres or breaks the taps off the plumbing outside your house for shits and giggles. I would like to be allowed to speak my mind without this social compliance or political correctness. And I would like someone who loves me and would never hurt me to fall asleep next to every night so I would never get lonely. I would like my faith in God and humanity restored, my GPA restored to it’s former glory prior to 2008 and my me back. – but those things aren’t things I can see myself having anywhere in the near future, if at all.
So realistically, what would I like for my birthday?
Classic metal vinyl records – albums of choice being Iron Maiden’s Powerslave and Number of the Beast and Metallica’s Master of Puppets, a book shelf from IKEA to store all my books neatly and a large jar of individually wrapped Mentos mints to feed my nervous Mentos-chewing habit.

Now will people please stop pestering me already.