Ms. Jay's Soundwave Adventure aka. The Alice in Chains/William DuVall Story

Status: Pumped. And hoarse due to too much smoke/dust inhalation.

Music: “Man in the Box" by Alice in Chains

• Soundwave ticket - $135
• Bottled water - $3.50
• Lacuna Coil guitar pick - Free
• The expression on William DuVall's face when turned down sex by a small Asian girl in his hotel room - Pretty fucking priceless.

It all started with Sunny's Soundwave adventure, which was epic in itself. There's nothing quite like fighting your way through the front of mosh pits and losing your voice due to inhaling the uprising dust and smoke to make you feel alive. (No bras of the people in front of me were unhooked for the sake of sabotaging their space. There is such a thing as mosh etiquette.)

Me, still riding the natural high of beating my way through the crowds to get a close up glimpse of Lacuna Coil, Alice in Chains and Trent Reznor, decided to make a night of it and head off to the Enigma to catch up with old friends and dance to some Iron Maiden.

As fate so happened, Alice in Chains were also at the Enigma. And my timid asking new frontman Will DuVall - sure, it's no Layne Staley, but I make do with the living - for a hug lead to being offered a drink. Which lead to being offered several drinks. Which lead to, well, a fuck load of drinking. (Too bad that when I get drunk, I just become more ballsy and over-confident rather than an easy lay. Ironically, it would have had a much easier job to coax me into sexual favours if I had been completely sober.)

Before the night was out, I was invited back to the hotel, where I learnt that the guys from Alice in Chains either love - or loathe - ACDC enough to superimpose their own faces onto the album cover of Highway to Hell along with details of their flight plans- the ebay whore in me is kicking myself for not stealing a copy from Will's hotel room to sell over the internet - , DuVall's favourite sneakers are black and velcro-like (yeah, I tend to ask the obscure) and that I apparently have "the perfect body to air guitar on".

Now I’m sure quite a number of women can boast of being the one night stand of some celebrity or another. And I'm sure I'm not the first female to ask William DuVall for a hug after a gig, only to be dragged into a night of drinking, dancing and discussing how much Axl Rose butchered the name of Guns N' Roses forever. (Well, technically I was the one that called Axl a douche for butchering the name of Guns N' Roses forever. Will just made the point that Rose lacks chemistry with his ever-changing posse due to thinking he and he alone is Guns N' Roses. As much as I adore pre-2000's Gunners and admit Rose is talented musically, I still call Axl a douche.)

But meeting the guys from Alice in Chains, being bought drinks by William DuVall himself and being invited back to Will’s hotel, only to turn around and have the metaphorical balls to look the newest member of Alice in Chains right in the eye and recite the exact phrase: “If you want to get laid, there are plenty of other girls down Hindley Street"?

Now that’s boastworthy.

You people seriously expected me to fuck an older guy I'd just met who was liquoring me up just because he's got some status? Sure, I'm eccentric, but I'm not stupid and I'm definitely no one's belt notch.

The sad thing now that I've just realised is that, due to turning down Alice in Chains frontman, I'm going to have to raise the bar and my standards by default, which means I'm more or less screwed out of sex for a very long time. (And the sad thing my dear friend Avi has realised is that if I did have sex with DuVall, I could have video taped it for him to exploit at his leisure.)

All this being said, I would like to point out that, beside the bitching of not being served fast enough by over-worked bar tenders, William DuVall is a sweetheart and a pretty fuck-off awesome guy for escorting me down the street and waiting with me by the taxi rank.

And he really has a thing for air guitaring on chick's bellies. Suppose that's how musicians get their kicks these days...

PS. As irreplaceable as Layne Staley is, I'm actually pretty impressed with the revival of Alice in Chains. Now that's how you bring a band back together.

A note to Axl Rose: Reviving Guns N' Roses + Chinese Democracy = You're doing it wrong.